Unselfishness

FAIRMINDEDNESS


PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS
BY TOSYN BUCKNOR
There are books I know I will hate even before I read them. Maybe it is because they are critically acclaimed, or maybe I just won't like the style of writing. I put off reading them for as long as possible but sometimes, the persistent one will occasionally, call my name (a la Styl Plus). So I give in. And read them. But more often than not, as I am reading the last line, I realize that I hated the book just as I thought I would.
No, I am not a literary critic, nor is this the speech from a book club; the only reason this article started like this was so I could say, PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS LEAVE YOU JUDGEMENTAL AND ON THE DEFENSIVE.
This is not limited to literary works, it extends to life. Once you make your mind up about something, it is really hard for you be objective and consider the finer points with a clear mind. Unfortunately, with a closed mind, there's a lot that can be missed and when it comes to people, preconceived notions will prevent you from seeing the person beneath the mask.
(I am into masks aren't I?)
What happens though when you're on the receiving end of the preconceived notions? You know, when you're the one people whisper about when you enter the room or the subject of discussion, but not in a good way? The truth is, no matter how nice or popular you are, you can't be loved by all of the people all of the time (to re-phrase a phrase), and it can be hard when you're the only one on the playground that nobody wants to talk to. In situations like that, you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs, “Yewande is wrong, I am NOT a snob!”, “Neither am I a push over!” and the best one? “Speak of me as YOU find!”
It is very easy to get tagged at some stage in your life and with some people, that first impression will never go away. In my secondary school, that happened a lot; once someone erred in some way, they had an unwritten tag that followed them throughout their stay; unless they were really brave enough to make people see the new them.
University wasn't any different, the tags where there but some people had learned to develop a really tough skin so they pretended it did not matter while they cried themselves to sleep at night. Well, the tough outer skin usually helps though in the end, the owners of those skins have to admit that those who act like they are bothered the least actually hurt the most.
Preconceived notions also lead to stereotypes, you know, beautiful girls can't have great personalities, short men are troublesome, people that wear glasses are nerds… The list is endless and I would just like to state for the record that QUEENS COLLEGE GIRLS ARE NOT SNOBS!
And as with all other types of prejudice, it's simple, if you practice it, expect it to be practiced on you! If you, without meeting people and taking time to discover what really goes on in their heads, assume or accept some notions about them, then, the next time someone says, “I thought you were nasty”: show that you're not(unless you really are in which case, this article may not be for you) and stop pre-judging.
So, I'm off to pick up one of those books again, maybe this time, I'll read it without any expectations and then ill fall in love with the style and theme.
'Preconceived notions flying over my head
A handshake comes with opinions formed ahead
But if you are to be true, just and kind,
Speak of me as YOU find'